Well then, What are you?

Recently, my mom asked if I wanted to go on retreat. Hm.... retreat... Christian retreat... Catholic retreat?... a whole weekend talking about God and going to church... She knows that's not my thing, but when she's making plans to go, she always asks if I want to come. That's when I just came out and said it, "Mom, I'm not a Christian." Her response was "Well then, what are you?" Uh..... Hmmmmm...... Well? Frankly, I really don't know. I just know that I'm not a Christian and am leaning toward a nature based spiritual system. (notice I don't say religion) Her response, "you're probably agnostic." well.. No... I believe in a supreme power.... God... Goddess... I don't believe that Jesus is my savior or that some unseen entity in heaven controls my destiny...

I believe that we control our own destiny. Deity is there for guidance which you can find through prayer or meditation. I prefer meditation as it is more attuning with the divine than talking to it. To me, there is no master plan, no pre-destiny. Shit happens. It's life, and we decide how we deal with it. You can let it destroy you or you can over come it.

Obviously, I'm not going to scream "I'M A PAGAN!" :P or neopagan... or whatever you want to call it.  I'm really just a Seeker that's currently on a Pagan path because it seems natural to me. I'm not looking for religion. I'm just looking for a spiritual connection with the divine energy that I feel when the sun warms my face, or when the breeze rustles through the trees. That connection isn't something I find in a church service.

Trying to figure out what I believe versus what I was taught to believe is hard. 20+ years of being told what is "right" is definitely difficult to change. It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. However, it's fun learning and reading and saying "Oh! That's what I've been looking for!" I find that instead of worshipping the divine, I am honoring it. For me, God/dess didn't create the Universe. Deity IS the Universe and everything in it.

I am an explorer on an adventure to find my unique spiritual path.