A Great Day

I'll start with fun... and for me daring. A few days ago, I posted about the bathing suit debate with my husband HERE. So, yesterday, I went to my tried and true vendor for everything clothes and shoe related... Zappos.com. Ok, I mostly went here because shopping for a bathing suit in a store sucks and I needed the suit this weekend and if I need it fast, I go to Zappos. Anyway...  I bought two suits. One I thought I would like and one I knew David would like. I tried them both on and the one I liked didn't look so hot... Of course! So, I'm keeping the one David likes... And I took a picture... and I'm posting it for you because I was so excited to find bikini bottoms that covered my ass and had a high enough waist the my stomach pooch is camouflaged. Also... Maybe.. I feel pretty great in it. (please excuse the unmade bed. David gets out of bed last in the morning and refuses to make it. :P)

Woo Hoo!! I have to admit... I might be sucking the gut in a little. LOL!!

Now for the second order of business... You remember that job I talked about? The one I posted about HERE? The one I applied for on a complete whim? Well, I received a call about it on my way home from work today... This chica right here has a job interview Friday morning!! I'm ridiculously excited!! I didn't think I was going to hear from them at all and WOOOOO!!! :D I was so shocked when she called I didn't know what to say. Thankfully, I have off on one of the days they had available for interviews. So, I don't have to make any special arrangements with my boss about leaving early or showing up late... or taking one of my 2 remaining personal days. So.. YAY!! Keep your fingers crossed. I'll definitely let you know how the interview goes.

All Natural!!

Well, I'm home sick today. I was fighting a headache most of the day yesterday and at 3 am this morning I woke up with a wicked migraine. When my alarm went off at 7 am, I still had a lingering headache, nausea and my eyes were still sensitive to light. So, I called out. Now,  it's 3 pm and I'm feeling mostly back to normal.

However, being a day home, my hair and make up is not done. I washed my hair this morning so it's in it's all natural crazy state. I did pull the sides back because I hate having my hair in my face. Then, I started thinking... when was the last time I had my picture taken without make up on... So, I took some pictures and thought I share them with you. Here it goes.. Me in my all natural state. :P Very close to what my husband sees in the morning... except I'm not usually smiling at 8 am. 

This picture also hasn't been edited so.. I'm a wee bit off center. :P and you can see the pile of towels in the hall that I haven't bothered to wash yet. LOL!

Now.. maybe another nap...

In the Mood for Change

I think's it's official! I'm in the midst of a period of change. First, I applied for a new job... Today... Well if you don't already know, Saturday TV sucks and around 11 to 11:30 this morning I got really bored. I didn't feel like reading or writing since I had already done a bit of that already. What's a girl to do? Heh!! It just so happens that my bedroom needed a bit of a face lift. I've been thinking about this for months and finally decided to go for it. I cleaned and re-arranged the furniture in my room. Luckily for you all I took pictures!

Before: (and I took these pics after I cleaned... No use showing you all what a slob I can be. :P)

After:

I know it's not a huge change, but the furniture has been in the same spot since we moved in almost 3 years ago. I felt like we were missing out on some nice cool breezes with our bed being on the same wall as the windows. Now, when I wake up in the morning, I can see the trees out back and the morning sky. Also, now there is nice open space of floor when you want into the room. I'm thinking I'll take advantage of it and do some yoga or meditation there.

The bedroom also got a much needed pass with the vacuum and a bit of dusting. Unfortunately, I kicked up quite a bit of dust and now my allergies are killing me.

As I mentioned earlier, I had been reading and writing before I moved all this furniture by myself. The weather this morning was beautiful. So, I decided to enjoy it and did my reading and writing on my back deck. I seem to be in a picture taking mood today and snapped some shots of the sky. (taken with my 4 year old Canon Powershot :P)

Am I Crazy?

I'm thinking that I might be a little nuts. Yesterday afternoon, for shits and giggles, I went to Monster.com to see what paralegal positions there are open in my area.... and OMG! I found one that I might actually qualify for! So... I applied for it.

I guess the crazy part is that I've only been at this job 11 months and it's an alright job. I like the people I work with. My boss, though demanding, is great to work for. However, I'm definitely over qualified for this job. It's just too slow and I can only take so much filing and typing of letters. We also do asbestos litigation... and it's not what you think. We are not representing the diseased and sometimes deceased victim of asbestos exposure. Nope! We defend the companies that potentially poisoned people with asbestos... Not to mention, asbestos litigation in boooooring!! The most boring probably. Most of it is copy and paste.

Thankfully, I don't hate my job. It got be out of a very bad spot a year ago. However, I went from high stress and high volume to no stress and often little work. Of course, it does give me time to blog whenever I feel like it. :P I feel I need somewhere that's faster paced. It would be a promotion. And the best part.... only a 15-20 minute commute! YAY!! It's in the ideal location. I definitely want my next job the be in this relative location. So, on a whim I went for it. Didn't really think about it. Looked up the employment agency doing the recruiting and looked up the law firm with the open position. Then, sent my little resume on its way.

I'm not actively looking for a new job. I'll gladly stay here another year before getting serious about finding a new job. I'm really not even expecting to hear back from the employment agency. However, it doesn't hurt to try!

Bathing Suit Shopping

I'm in need of shopping for a new bathing suit. I've been putting it off for weeks. David wants me in a bikini.... Honestly, I don't think my body is bikini worthy. I'm just not comfortable with all my junk hanging out everywhere...

I'd want something like this:

 And he wants this:

Ok.. I will admit I have worn a bikini like that in the past... But my boobs are a whole cup size bigger now...(and I'm 15 pounds heavier) I don't think they make tops like that to cover my girls. :P I won't even get into the fact that the girls don't stand up on their own anymore... They've migrated South and I think they like it there.

What is up with this notion that you have to wear a bikini to look sexy? I'm a boob girl... I like my cleavage to be in the front... not in the back... I need lift and coverage. Why do I need to show off all my goods? I feel so much better on the beach when I'm not trying to cover up my pasty white tummy. I think baby steps are in order... This year it will be a bottom that isn't skirted... Next year maybe a bikini (a normal one... not one with strings all over it).

And swimming... in the ocean... Dave loves to drag me neck deep into the ocean and honestly I'd prefer not to flash small children trying to get out that far.

This bathing suit debate with him is very aggravating! He thinks I look sexy, but I think I look like... well something far from sexy. I need someone honest and unbiased to go bathing suit shopping with me... Any takers?

Online Friends

A year ago, I didn't realize how much I'd depend on the friendship and advice from people I've never met in person. It stared when I got involved with the WW online community. I found a whole group of amazing people that genuinely want to see me succeed. As with any community, there are some people I really click with because I share the same beliefs or have the same goals. Then, there are some that I support because I'm a caring person and I know they need it but don't have that "friend" connection with it. Then, there are those select few that I think I'd be bff's with if they didn't live so far away (you probably know who you are).

I think the value of these relationships is often under estimated by those that haven't been there. If people can understand that you can meet your future spouse on match.com, then why can't they understand that you could meet a friend on WW.com, You Tube, or Blogger? (or, at one time, in Dave's case World of Warcraft) If it wasn't for these online relationships that I developed, I would have abandoned my weight loss goals months ago. Now that I'm on a more personal journey and am shifting away from focusing on weight loss, I post more here and less on WW. I like to be able to say "bad" words and not worry about the censorship of words like crap, and beaver (not that I've ever used the word beaver in a sentence outside of demonstrating WW censors). I've met a few knew people here who are great. However, it's those faithful few that help to keep me going in the right direction.

There is something special about the unbiased advice I get from you. It gives me a different perspective on things. Sometimes, it makes me stop, reverse a little, and say "she had a great point. that's what I am looking for." Not to mention, it's kind of nice knowing people with similar beliefs and knowing people who understand where I'm coming from.

So, to all of my faithful, and wise friends (now 11 known readers):

Found Something Great for My Personal Journey

Obviously, I'm not focused on the 30 day challenge. However, I have done the most important parts of the challenge. The rest of the days are mostly about making a daily to do list, and having atleast 2 items on there that will help you achieve your Push Goal. The Push Goal is the one goal that makes all the other goals possible. Mine, which might be obvious to most of you, is finding peace and balance in myself. That being said...

I stumbled across an awesome book during one of my random excursions to the book store during my lunch break. I was roaming around the Women's Health section and found this book that seems to be exactly what I've been looking for when it comes to spirituality, and being true to myself. It's called The Way of the Happy Woman: Living the Best Year of Your Life by Sara Avant Stover. And it looks like this: (honestly.. how can you not buy a book of a woman in a flowy white dress that appears to be twirling in a beautiful green meadow?)

Here is the description from Amazon.com

"Our ancestors adhered to the daily, seasonal, and yearly rhythms of nature by necessity, but modern life overrides these cycles, compromising women’s health and happiness. In this book, Sara Avant Stover shows how simple, natural, and refreshingly accessible practices can minimize stress and put us back in sync with our own cycles and those of nature. When we honor spring’s seedlings, summer’s vibrancy, fall’s harvest, and winter’s quietude, we harmonize our inner and outer worlds. Sara’s recommendations nurture the body, invigorate the mind, and lift the spirit. Illustrated yin and yang yoga sequences, one-day season-specific retreats, enticing recipes, and innovative self-reflection techniques make it easy to reconnect with the essential."

This is right up my spiritual alley since it doesn't stress a specific religious practice. Actually, she makes a point to tell you regularly that you don't have to do everything she suggests in the book. It's just a guide and that you should incorporate the practices that feel right to you. I've been reading it for about a week and am still on the chapters that discuss the basics. She really values journaling and has little "try this" boxes for journaling ideas and getting started. After the chapters on the basics, which cover journaling, cycles of nature & the body, yoga & meditation, and nutrition, the book is broken down by season and practices to incorporate during the seasons. So far, I'm loving it and have been writing more in my journal.

I honestly believe that I was meant to read this book. It literally jumped off the shelf and into my hand. Of course, the title of the book helped. :P I think we're all trying to find our inner happy and this could be a great way to find it. Needless to say, the 30 Day Challenge is out since this seems to be a better fit for what I want to achieve at the moment. I'll keep you all updated on my progress.

Goals

Finally, Day 3 of the Challenge is setting goals. 10 goals to be exact. Chalene says to think big. Well, I thought big and made a master list of more than 10 goals and then put the ones that weren't so big on the top 10 for the time being. In this challenge, Chalene wants you to write a list of 10 goals every week (without looking at the previous weeks' list). Some will change... Some will stay the same.

Here are the top 10 that are most important to me at the moment:

1. Find an activity that Dave and I can do together (really want something that doesn't involve TV, or video games)
2. Find peace and balance within myself
3. Create a cleaning schedule that I can adhere to (the frequency of weekends away really makes it difficult to keep on top of everything)
4. Learn and use herbal remedies for my common ailments
5. Set up a monthly date night
6. Create a habit of cooking regularly
7. Get fit
8. Get to goal weight
9. Become certified to teach group fitness classes (ok this is a big if, but sounds like fun. :P)
10. Find a job closer to home (maybe one that's rewarding...)

Honestly, I'm a little bored with things at the moment. The daily routine never changes. I think I need to spice things up a bit.

*Note some of these changed since the original list was made last week. So this'll be my list for week 2.

Who am I?

Well, if you've been reading lately, you'll know that I am on a journey of re-discovery. I seem to have lost a bit of myself in the last few years. However, I do know a few things about myself....

I am all of the following:

• caring
• compassionate
• honest
• loyal
• a little odd at times
• completely random
• funny (but only by accident)
• sentimental
• sensitive (over sensitive sometimes)
• don't like people to see me cry and everything makes me cry
• empathetic
• sometimes confident
• sometimes arrogant
• sometimes modest
• horrible public speaker
• will dance to anything (dancing is my passion)
• don't want to always get drunk at parties, but somehow it always happens.
• am really good with plants when I take the time to care for them
• don't want kids (not yet anyway... jury's still out on this one)
• am happy with the life that I have with my husband (being married to Dave is one of the few things that brings me true happiness)
• affectionate (I'm a crazy lover of hugs)
• an awesome aunt, daughter and sister
• think I'm sexy (on the days I don't, I'm just bloated. :P)
• slightly quirky
• responsible
• never quite sure of what I want to be when I grow up (trophy wife isn't panning out yet. :P)
• don't like to ask for help
• have to do everything myself because I don't trust anyone to do anything right (ie Dave does not clean the bathrooms)
• control freak!!

That's an awfully long list for someone who's trying to find herself. Maybe my problem is that I know who I am, but not happy with how I let others influence me (which has been a theme in all these posts recently). Maybe this isn't about re-discovery. Maybe all I really need to do is go back to the root of who I know I am and start acting accordingly.

Day 3 of Chalene's 30 Day Challenge is about goals. I have them written and will post them later.

My Pretty Purple Weekend

I think last weekend I went a little crazy on purple. :P I thought of my girl Cyn over at The Purple Goddess. This woman loves purple and I think she would totally appreciate this. Enjoy, sweetie!

It started on Thursday when I packed a purple tank top to wear during the weekend at my parent's house. Friday night, I went shopping with my sister. Well, I decided that I need a new wallet. I had misplaced my debit card twice that week because I wasn't using one. So, she took me to this awesome store called Charming Charlie's. The store is full of wallets, handbags and awesome accessories all sorted by color. It was a really cute little store.

The first thing that caught my eye was this wallet. It's one of those hard case ones with a hinge and clasp. I'm seriously loving this thing!

Then, I decided that I needed a new summer handbag. My little Coach bag that I won at a beef and beer a couple of months ago isn't big enough to hold the wallet (or any wallet for that matter.. hence the lack of  a wallet in the first place). I saw one that I really liked, but it was huge! I like to be able to find stuff in my handbag. Then, I spotted this charming summery bag. It has a bunch of pockets so I can keep it organized, and it was just big enough to carry around everyday. Don't you just love it?  (it's hard to see, but the straps on this bag are a dark purple)

Saturday was a spa day with my mom to celebrate our birthdays. We got the works. 30 minute facials, 30  minute massages, manicures and pedicures. This was completely unintentional, but I picked this color for my nails. :P It's part of OPI's Pirate's of the Caribbean collection. It's called Planks to You. I seriously need to go out and buy this color.

I didn't realize what I'd done until I was getting my toes done. I was looking at my toes... Then, I look up and see my new bag on the chair behind the nail technician... and Holy Heck!! I was totally in the middle of a complete purple fix! :P Apparently, I love purple!!

Being Honest with Myself

Ok... So I haven't watched the Day 3 video for the 30 Day Challenge yet. I think I might need to lock myself in my room (Dave likes to tease when I do these things).... However, I don't need an assignment for developing habits to set and achieve goals to find out little things about myself.

Yesterday, I had a mini epiphany about following your intuition.

Recently, I've been thinking about where I want my life to go, and what I want from life. This takes a great deal of honesty. Now, I have no problem being honest with other people... I am a little rough around the edges and can sometimes come off as mean, but that's never my intention... It's something I've always needed to work on, but never really  have. Maybe I should just accept that fact that it's just a part of who I am.

Anyway... no one can ever accuse me of not being honest. However, being honest with myself is a bit harder and part of the reason why I often feel lost. I am definitely in a "I don't know what I want" phase in my life. In some aspects, I know what I want and have no idea how to get it. In other aspects, I have no clue. I'm floundering around looking for something that I can't find. In a way, I kind of know what I need to do, but being honest with yourself about relationships and your life can get a little scary. A part of me wants to just have an attitude that says "This is what I need to do. This is who I want to be. If you don't like it, then you should get to steppin'." Unfortunately, as honest as I am... I'm never quite THAT honest since I don't like to intentionally hurt people's feelings.

Maybe a part of who I am as well is that I am just a little to soft for my own good... I am a total people pleaser. Granted, it's part of the reason why I'm so good at being an assistant. :P It's time for me to get a little selfish and I just can't seem to do it.

Got Neti Pot?

Ok... This is totally random, but I wanted to share just in case one or some of my 9 public followers (and hopefully many more readers) are suffering from nasal allergies.

Earlier this week my sister went to the doctor. She had an allergy and asthma cocktail and the doctor recommended that she use a neti pot to help relieve her allergy symptoms and to clean out her sinuses. Her first reaction apparently was to text me with "I have to get a nettypot.... Ewww." Of course I respond with "LOL!" Later in the day I get a text exclaiming "I did it!!!" Three hours later came "Dude! Totally recommend neti pot..." Well, since it seems that I've been suffering from nasal allergies constantly since last summer, I went out and got myself a neti pot.





This one to be exact.

I bought it at the grocery store (pharmacy section with the nasal  sprays) and it came with 30 (?) packets of dry ingredients that you mix with warm water (probably just salt. :P). I used it... It was weird... At first you have that "I've got water up my nose" feeling which makes sense since... well... you have water up your nose... Once you get used to that feeling.... I'm not going to lie. It does feel a bit weird, but it's worth it because...

I AM ALLERGY FREE!  It cleared out my sinuses, took away that constant itchy nose and I haven't sneezed once since using it last night.

Before I was:

 And after I was:


Oooo! I like that dress! I wonder where.... Oh! Sorry... I got distracted...

 Where was I? Ah...Yes.... I'd recommend a neti pot. It's a great homeopathic remedy for nasal allergies. It's definitely better then pumping your body with fexofenadine (allegra), loratadine (claritin and alavert), diphenhydramine (benadryl), cetirizine (zyrtec)... or any other antihistamine... in case I've missed a few.

*Note- Yes, I've tried all of those antihistamines and none of them came close to relieving my nasal allergies like the neti pot did. However, the benadryl did knock me out enough to get a good nights sleep regardless of my allergy symptoms. :P

Intuition

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be yourself." ~ Alan Alda

One of my WW friends posted this on her wall today. It was perfect timing. Reading it gave me a little "Ah Ha!" moment. It made me realize that I haven't been following my intuition. I've been kind of ignoring it. Maybe that's the reason I often feel like I've lost touch with myself. So here's a little addition to my clarity statement:

I will honor myself by learning to follow my intuition and sticking to it even if it doesn't take me down the easy path.

I haven't watched the Day 3 video yet. Looks like this 30 day challenge is going to take me a while. :P

Clarity Statement

Last night I finally wrote down my clarity statement for my number one priority. It was a difficult task for me. Making finding oneself as your number one priority takes alot more thought and a little digging.

I thought about how I was when I met Dave. What were my good and bad qualities? What has changed since then? What kind of person do I want to be? How much do I let other people's ideas and behaviors influence me? What behaviors do I want to change?

There are changes that need to be made. Some people might be cut out of my life and others might be brought closer. I think finding people who let me just be what and who I want to be will help me along the way. The others who try to influence me away from who I want to be will have to be cut loose. Like Chalene always says, "If your friends don't support you, get new friends." I was never one to give into peer pressure, but in the last few years, I haven't stuck to that. It's the biggest change since my younger days that I am not happy about.

So, here's my clarity statement:

My number one priority is to re-discover who I am by acting in a way that coincides with my beliefs and values, by caring less about what other people think of me, by doing what I believe is right for me and by not letting other people influence me to stray from who I want to be.

Priorites

So... Day 2 of Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge is about priorities... Well, I've been working on it for 5 days. :P This has been a hard one for me. Basically, you take your list from Day 1 and star the top 5 on that list.

Then, you write down your top three in no specific order.

• My relationship with Dave
• Getting fit and healthy
• Finding "me"

 Then, you write them in order of importance.

1. Finding "me"
2. My relationship with Dave
3. Getting fit and healthy

The final step is writing a clarity statement for your number one priority. Well, I did this on June 2nd. I made my marriage my number one priority but kind of felt that finding myself should be number one. While shopping on Friday night, I sought the advice of my sometimes wiser sister. She made a valid point that I could never be truly happy in any relationship without knowing who I am.  So, I'm in the process of re-doing the assignment. However, I'm finding it hard to put myself first. It would have been easy to put my marriage first. Finding ways to improve and honor your marriage is a hell of alot easier than trying to find out who you are. I am stepping out of my comfort zone here and really don't know what to do to re-discover myself. Thus, making writing the clarity statement very difficult. It's a work in progress and hopefully I'll have have it finished tonight.

What is Important to Me

Day 1 of Chalene's 30 Day Challenge. Today's assignment is making a list of what is important to you.

• Finding "me"
• My relationship with Dave
• My family
• Getting fit and healthy
• Finding spirituality without religion
• Becoming a better person
• Having a peaceful home
• Finding friends that I connect with
• Keeping my mind active (always learning something new)
• Cooking more often
• Being happy
• Finding balance in my life

Gee... I'm trying to find alot of things. It seems that at the moment I'm more focused on my internal wellbeing than anything else. This list has changed alot since I first made it in January. The January list was chock full of "organizing my house" and getting rooms painted and decorated. Well... none of that is done yet. In the last 6 months somethings have changed and I've become aware that I need and want to make some changes on the inside.

What never seems to change is that I don't mention career in either of those lists. There's something about me that doesn't make career advancement an important part of my life. For some reason, I just let the career aspect of my life go where it wants. I grab opportunities when they're available, but rarely set down career goals to achieve. It's one of the few things in life that I just go with the flow.