Bashing? Or Boosting?

So, my girl Cyn at The Racy Readhead got a little flack for offending someone by posting the following picture on her facebook page.

She removed it and posted a blog. She was accused of bashing skinny girls and apologized for the offense. Ok.... fine... I see how someone could be offended by it. However, the last time I checked, young girls weren't killing themselves to look like the top picture.

I spent years in the dance community watching girls starve themselves to be skinnier so they can fit into a mold. I saw an exceedingly skinny woman regularly walk into the store I worked at just to ask the skinny girl I worked with if she thought she looked good. She would also ask her how much she ate to look like that. I witnessed a gorgeous girl with an amazing body compare herself to an image in a fitness magazine and heard her say "I want to look like this woman."

Lets make it clear that I have no problems with women who are naturally skinny (and I feel that the middle woman might have been photo shopped). I have friends who are just thin by nature. I would never call someone a derogatory name because I feel they are too skinny, which is something a reader on Cyn's blog said was happening to her daughter (which pisses me off as much as when a chubby girl gets made fun of). I have no problem with women who want to be skinny. I do have a problem with society's definition of what is sexy and the pressures that are put on women to look a certain way especially when they take unhealthy means to live up to those expectations. I have an even bigger problem when an 8 year old girl is bulimic because she's trying to look like the girl she saw on the cover of Teen Vogue. What that young girl doesn't know is that the image was probably re-touched to look that perfect. (and I do understand that eating disorders aren't all about weight and body image. That's not what this post is about so I won't go into those details.)

This picture isn't bashing skinny girls. It's putting it out there that curvy girls, who are often made to feel fat, are sexy too. There is the argument that two wrongs don't make a right... However, you could argue that the picture is an opinion and we're all entitled to our opinion. I'm sure there are people out there who would disagree with the statement in that picture. I'm sure there are people who would prefer a super skinny lady. To each his own. Beauty is relative.

As I get older, I'm learning to love myself the way I am and realizing that I am sexy regardless of what society tells me (thanks in part to my skinny friends who say they love my voluptuousness). I'm going to be 32 next month... Why did I have to spend over half my life feeling insecure about my body? There is room in this world for all body types. I just wish that the media would give us equal representation. Would it hurt Victoria's Secret to have an ad with a size 12 woman in it? Or even better, have a size 12 Angel walking down the runway in their televised fashion show. We don't need to change. Society needs to change and realize that we're all beautiful in our own way regardless of what we look like. Why do we feel the need to judge people because of their outward appearance?

As for her removing her post, that was her decision. I support that. She's a wonderful woman who doesn't want to offend people. However, I have more of a "screw you" attitude. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and if I offend you, that's your problem. I'm not easily offended. If I find that I don't want to be bombarded with someone's opinion, I  just unfollow, unfriend, or simply don't read what they post. Or if you want to, you can comment on how offended you are. Better yet... you can post a valid, respectful argument. I might consider your feelings... Maybe apologize for offending you... Or just say that it wasn't my intention, and leave it at that. If you're disrespectful, I can simply delete your comment. This is my world and you can choose if you want to be in it or not.

If the media has a right to bash Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson for how fat they are, then I have a right to say "eff you! They're pregnant! Have some compassion you heartless ass!" Thankfully freedom of speech is my constitutional right, and I won't shy away because one person or a hundred people are offended by what I have to say.

So... I'll end my rant or ramblings there. If you made it to the end, thanks for reading. If you didn't make it this far, thanks for trying (though you won't see it. : D)

Love you all! I hope you have a wonderful Friday, and a fantastic weekend.

Ask and You Shall Receive....

So, I've been lacking inspiration on what to write about on here. Nothing exciting has been happening lately. Well, I asked the powers that be to give me something! I got it... unfortunately it's not what I was hoping to write about... I was looking more for a deep revelation or something great... So, here it is...

On Monday, one of the paralegals at my law firm was fired. Well, seeing as I was told a few months ago.. around the time that I wrote THIS POST, that changes might be coming.. (interpret that as this paralegal being let go) and to give him time and I'd be considered for that job... Well... here it is! The new paralegal starts Monday... WHAT THE FUCK!! Seriously! Do they think I'm going to sit here and wait for a year... or two... for one of these 2 new paralegals to move on or get fired? What an bunch of asses! They seem to lack the understanding that I'm over qualified to answer their stupid phones and copy & paste legal documents. I have a fucking bachelor's degree for fuck sake! I am livid! (lol! If you couldn't already tell) So... now I'm going to say "screw em!" They've passed me over twice now. It's time to get serious about finding a new job. I will have to wait until after my vacation since I won't we reachable for two weeks. But man... come September 12... It's on!!

I'm still being considered for a position at the place that I interviewed at last month. I didn't get the job I interviewed for, but they were anticipating another open position that they were going to consider me for. I'm just keeping in touch with the HR rep., and waiting. I give her the update on my current situation here. I am done with this place. It's time to move on!

*Note- I remembered to pack my camera. So, I'm hoping to get some shots of bay this weekend.

Something that Really Yanks My Chain

This is probably one of the reasons that I'm not as active on the WW site as I once was. This post stems from a blog entry that really got my panties in a twist. She didn't name the person she was talking about but I'm pretty sure I know who it was.  She didn't even get all the facts right in her post. She's a little pushy when it comes to "living the plan."  She twisted it to make people think this person was continuing on the plan that caused weight gain when in fact she's just not using WW anymore.

Don't get me wrong. Most of the people there are great, but some of them seem to have ingested a bit too much of the WW Kool-aid. This one in particular. Grrr!! She makes me mad!

They act like WW is the best and only way to lose weight and they run around the blogs with their "The plan works if you work the plan" mantra vomit. Does WW work? Absolutely! Does is work for everyone? Maybe not. Is it the only way? Hell friggin' no! Don't get up on your high horse and put down someone for trying something other than WW and then get your facts wrong. There are a ton of free, and great tracking sites. I've used fitday.com in the past and more recently, I've used myfitnesspal.com. Sometimes I feel like shaking these people and saying "Fuck WW! Why should I pay them to use their proprietary tracking tool when I can get a comparable tool for free?" When I use myfitnesspal.com, I don't have to carry a points calculator to the grocery store to see if an item is worth buying. I can look at the calories and say "Hmmm... I really don't want to use that many calories for a snack." Done and done! Honestly, counting calories is more convenient than tracking Points.

Ok... I'm getting a little bitchy here. My point is... Find what works for you. If it's WW, great! If it's another tool, fantastic! If you can simply eat healthy and don't need a tool, lucky you! But don't sit there and try to say that this way is the only way that works. 

Hmmm... That last bit sounds alot like my Religious Tolerance rant from a few months back. Maybe what really gets my panties in a bunch or twist since there's not much to bunch ; )  is people trying to push their views and beliefs onto other people.

Bathing Suit Shopping

I'm in need of shopping for a new bathing suit. I've been putting it off for weeks. David wants me in a bikini.... Honestly, I don't think my body is bikini worthy. I'm just not comfortable with all my junk hanging out everywhere...

I'd want something like this:

 And he wants this:

Ok.. I will admit I have worn a bikini like that in the past... But my boobs are a whole cup size bigger now...(and I'm 15 pounds heavier) I don't think they make tops like that to cover my girls. :P I won't even get into the fact that the girls don't stand up on their own anymore... They've migrated South and I think they like it there.

What is up with this notion that you have to wear a bikini to look sexy? I'm a boob girl... I like my cleavage to be in the front... not in the back... I need lift and coverage. Why do I need to show off all my goods? I feel so much better on the beach when I'm not trying to cover up my pasty white tummy. I think baby steps are in order... This year it will be a bottom that isn't skirted... Next year maybe a bikini (a normal one... not one with strings all over it).

And swimming... in the ocean... Dave loves to drag me neck deep into the ocean and honestly I'd prefer not to flash small children trying to get out that far.

This bathing suit debate with him is very aggravating! He thinks I look sexy, but I think I look like... well something far from sexy. I need someone honest and unbiased to go bathing suit shopping with me... Any takers?

Moderation is No Joke!

This has been on my mind lately and might come across as a little blunt, but whatever... If anything, I'm honest to a fault.

At the end of November Weight Watchers (WW) came out with PointsPlus. A whole new program exampled off their successful Points plan. Under this new plan, most food have higher points values than the old plan. However, all fruits and non-starchy vegetables are now 0 points. I guess part of the logic behind that is to get people to eat a piece of fruit instead of a 2 point WW sweet treat. Under the old plan, an apple was 2 points. So, why would a person eat an apple when they can have a WW ice cream bar for the same number of points? However, I think that has backfired on alot of people.

My main beef with this is that people think, "Fruit is 0 points!! I can eat all the fruit I want!" However, fruit still has calories. One medium size banana (6-8 inches) has around 100-110 calories. One medium apple (3" diameter) has 95 calories. Not to mention fruit can have alot Carbohydrates depending on the variety you're eating. Most veggies have significantly fewer calories, but this 0 point fruit could be doing more harm than good for some people.

I have a number of online WW friends whose weight loss has stalled or who have gained weight since this new plan rolled out. I've seen them (and other people whose blogs I've happened upon) write, "It's not the extra fruit. I didn't gain all this weight because I ate fruit." Well... That's probably because you didn't eat any fruit before WW.... but I digress...

Here is a great example of the impact of too much fruit in your diet. One of my favorite WW friends has really been struggling and has actually gained weight since the new plan came out. She tracked a day using myfitnesspal.com and weightwatchers.com. She had 2 points left for the day and had eaten 1,450 calories. We're about the same height and weight. My calorie goal for a day is 1200 calories and I'm sure her goal is similar. (this is when you put that your activity level at 0 minutes per day) That's an extra 250 calories! No wonder she's having trouble losing weight. I would like to point out that her diet is fairly healthy, but the salad she ate for lunch had atleast 3 servings of vegetables and a snack had atleast 3 servings of fruit.

**Note she also hasn't been doing the intense workouts she had been doing because of an injury. I feel that's most likely why she's gaining. However, she was still eating more calories than she needed.**

So, yes, the reason you're gaining weight could be the extra fruit you're now eating that you didn't eat before the new plan. There is such a thing as over eating healthy foods. You can't expect to eat all the fruit you can possibly stuff into your body and still lose weight.  So, even if fruit is 0 points, you still need to eat it in moderation.

Tolerance... or a rant... :P

So, last night, I'm putzing around on Youtube watching a bunch of videos by a woman named CharmingPixieFlora. She's a Wiccan? Witch? Ok.. I can't remember how she classifies herself, but she has this amazing, bright, loving energy about her. All her videos are about Paganism and has great tips, how to's and general information. Some non-Pagans can relate to some of her videos. There's one about having an open dialog with the Goddess and just talking to any divine power you believe in.

 Anyway.... Under the related videos, I see some shit from Brother "What's His Name"... He's so important that I forgot his name. :P He starts off his video telling her that she's wrong, and needs to stop what she's doing. And then he goes on about how she needs to repent and "if only you would open your mind and accept Jesus Christ into your life" and "follow the one true God" ... blah...blah... blah... WHAT??? Who needs to open their mind? With so many people in this world, how can you say that there's only one way to divinity? I was raised Roman Catholic and am now seeking a nature based spirituality. When I realized that there were all these other religions, I just came to the logical conclusion that, regardless what the name of someone's gods/goddesses are, we're all ultimately worshiping the same supreme power. (Keep in mind, I came to this conclusion while attending Catholic school) We just have a different means to the same end. May I remind you... an end that no one can prove what it actually is.

I got about 2 minutes in and had enough. Apparently, he went on to reading some scriptures... and I'm sure more blah...blah...blah.... Obviously, she's not going to care about this but...

It got me thinking about tolerance and respect. You might not agree with my opinions, or my beliefs. That's fine. That doesn't mean that I'm not a good person. As a society, we need to respect people's beliefs and start deciding if a person is good or bad based on their character and how they treat other people. Shit! I've known a Satanist in my past, and she was a very nice person. From what I knew of her, she was far from the "evil" that most people might think when they hear that.  Just because you go to church, go to temple, or create a sacred circle in your living room, it doesn't mean that your automatically good. We just need to respect our differences and move on with our lives. Brother McNegative Energy and alot of other people need to stop judging people because of how they choose to live their lives. It's not your place to tell someone that their spirituality is wrong and they're going to hell for it. How the fuck do you know? No one really knows for certain. That's why it's called "Faith" and not "Fact."

I'm a firm believer that you can't really convert someone. You can give them info, and tell them what you believe, but that doesn't convert people. They can choose to join you if that's what they believe as well. Ultimately people will find the right spiritual path for them because they're looking for it and want that connection with the divine. They'll find it on their own without your help. No one way is the right way. And if you're a sciencey, overly logical, person that believes that there's no way there's a God, have at it.

I'm not even going to get started on the fact that maybe we should care less about what other people are doing and start concentrating on ourselves. OR... the fact that this Brother "Save the Pagans" doesn't understand how we can live without a sacred text. Or... the arrogance of this man to think that what he says will change another person's spiritual beliefs. That's a whole lot of different rants. :P

*Please note that this guy was very respectful, but it was very obvious that he knew nothing about what Pagans believe. I think that being a man of God that he would have just been happy that she believed in something greater than herself. I despise proselytizing for the reasons about finding spirituality stated above. I wonder if I can put a "No Proselytizing"
sign on my front door? :P

*This is the first website I found when I was researching Paganism. It's an awesome site with information about almost any religion you can think of. http://www.religioustolerance.org/



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